Gang of Santa-Banta broke a bank, but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine…
happily they drink and left
next day headline
~ Braking News ~
“Blood Bank Robbed”
lmao…..
bottles of chilled red wine…
happily they drink and left
next day headline
~ Braking News ~
“Blood Bank Robbed”
lmao…..
Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR……
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR……
Man's Worth-
It take one Amitabh Bachan to sell Diamonds.
But,
It needs three Abhishek Bachan to sell Sim Cards.
It take one Amitabh Bachan to sell Diamonds.
But,
It needs three Abhishek Bachan to sell Sim Cards.
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.
After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London police officer, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the policeman..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the policeman. "Go ahead sir, anywhere you like."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the police officer, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"
"No sir...", replied the police officer, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."
After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London police officer, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the policeman..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the policeman. "Go ahead sir, anywhere you like."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the police officer, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"
"No sir...", replied the police officer, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."
Everyone says Rajnikanth is perfect......(i)
ReplyDeleteBut, we know 'no one is perfect'.......(ii)
Thus, from (i) & (ii) , we get-
Rajnikanth = no one
Hence,
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RAJNIKANTH KILLED JESSICA :D :D
dEDICATED TO 100 % CUT OFF OF SRCC
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the college will now be renamed to :
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Shri RAJNIKANTH college of commerce :-) :-)
Universal truth we learnt :-
" Sun rises in the east "
FACT :-
"Sun neither rises nor sets, only earth rotates"
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MORAL
EDUCATION SPOILS OUR COMMONSENSE
Sardar ka interview tha....sawal aaya english me translate karo...- mai is job k liye bohot umeed se hoon......
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Sardar : I AM PREGNANT FOR THIS JOB :-D
A man drove past a traffic camera and saw it flash. He couldn't believe he had been caught speeding when he was driving below the prescribed limit. He turned around and drove past again, this tym even slower. But as he passed the camera, it flashed again. Furious, he turned around and this tym drove past at a snail's pace. But the camera flashed once more. "well, it must be broken "' he thought and drove home. A week later, he recieved three challans in his mailbox for not wearing his seatbelt :-) :-)
ReplyDelete1 baar bhagwan aur Rajnikanth ki ladai ho gai
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Result .
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aaj bhagwan upar h......... :-) :-)
P: I turned non-veg yesterday.
ReplyDeleteMe: Why, what happened?
P: I promised myself I'll make a girlfriend by yesterday, but I couldn't. She didn't agree.
Me: So?
P: So, I had butter chicken. Chick, one way or the other
KID: Y some of ur hair r white dad?
DAD: Evry time u mak me unhappy,1 of my hair trns white
KID: Nw i undrstnd y grndpa's hairs r ALL white Moral:Dnt b over smart.
Santa dials a number.
A girl picked it up
Santa-Hello kaun?
Girl- Seeta
Santa- O teri! galti se ayodhya mil gya
sorry "MAATE".
Lady on PHone: Hello Is This Mr. Kapoor?
I wanna meet u & talk to U.
Man-Y ?
Bcoz U r the FATHER of 1 of my Kids.
Man(stunned) - Oh my God!
R u Mrs. Rawat?
No.
Mrs. Kulkrni?
No.
Mrs. Bharti?
No.
Ms. Kelly? :o
No.
Lady(totally confused)- No Sir, i m the class teacher of ur son.
Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming"If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
Giving sad news to a troop
by Jokes for laughter on Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 3:18pm
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!
Two Men are walking together when they suddenly see two ladies approaching the first one says ; 'my wife ad my girlfriend together im definitely in trouble
the second one replied ; 'me too'
Ek train bohot time baad chali.
Muslim kehta: Ya Ali bla tali.
Hindu kehta: Jai Bajrang Bali.
Funny Sardar kehta: Arre Ali aur Bali, train apni nahi, saath vali chali !!!
Media 2 Kasab:
what do u think about india?
Kasab: well, i realized d meaning of " Atithi Devo Bhav
Prof 2 Studnt:
Wht is atention Deficit Hyperactive Disordr?
Studnt: Jumbalakad bamba Holsga Volsga.
...
...Prof: I didnt gt u.
Studnt: same here dude!
Thanks for sharing it. Vineet Tandon is the best motivational speaker in India, He regularly conducts musical motivational sessions for corporates, industry associations, etc. Contact Now!
ReplyDelete